Smoke and Mirrors
by Dana-Eliza
Summary: Different scenes written on every song of the new Smoke and Mirrors album by Imagine Dragons. All revolving around Itachi and Deidara. Different times, different settings, good and bad endings. The songs set the mood and I write what it made me see! 21 songs, so 21 chapters, all in honour of ItaDei week. Rating and warnings differ per chapter. Make sure you check inside.
1. Shots

For the start of ItaDei week!

The whole week I'll be posting scenes written on every song of the new Imagine Dragons album, Smoke and Mirrors. I either looked at the lyrics or listened to the beat to let the idea form, sometimes both. Rating and warnings differ per chapter. I'll add the notes to the beginning of the chapters, so make sure you check them before you start reading! And I recommend listening to the accompanying songs as well! There will be 21 chapters by the end of the week!

Rating: T-rated

Warnings: Violence and blood (light)

...

Putting the car in first gear, Deidara slowly let it drive onto the deserted piece of road. Almost no one would be found here, and he had always considered this his special. A place where he could run to whenever something had gone wrong, like today. As the car came to a stop, Deidara got out, but left the engine running for some reason. As if he was planning to hop right into it again in a few seconds and drive off, never to return again. Perhaps that really was his plan all along.

With shaking hands and wobbly knees Deidara walked towards the little fence that prevented you from driving right off. There was a certain serenity surrounding him. There in the darkness, barely a star in sight, crickets chirping their mating songs, and the soft crash of waves landing against the soft sand. Deidara released a breath he had been holding in, his racing heart not given up just yet. Clutching his side he could feel a wetness staining his hand, but he ignored it for now. It was not important. Not yet.

The sound of another car pulling in made Deidara turn his head slightly to gaze backwards. Next to his old beat up car stood a freshly waxed one, shining away in the little light the corner offered. Deidara really wished now the other hadn't come, but on the other hand he was happy the other had. It was conflicting and painful. Casting a look up at the sky, Deidara wished this would be different. That he wouldn't mess this up. It was just his luck that the other car pulled in, because luck had never been on his side.

 _Over and over and over again_

Turning off his car the newcomer stepped out as well, first moving towards Deidara's car. Reaching through the opened window he turned off the running engine, and then lingered just a little too long, watching what was on the passenger's seat. Slipping back out of the window, the man hooked his finger in a hole on the side of the car, something having crashed right through the metal. And then the finger found another hole, and another, the whole side covered in them. It made Deidara's heart race even more.

"I'm sorry," he muttered as the other stepped closer, getting ride beside Deidara, but not close enough to touch.

Leaning his hands on the fence the man looked down, remembering it was a long way down from here before you would ever reach the beach. Still the sound of waves broke the silence ever so often, the serene moment lasting a little longer. A sting of pain shot through Deidara's side, and he gritted his teeth to prevent a groan from leaving his lips. The other still noticed though, and shot a look down at the side Deidara was covering, but he would not comment.

 _Am I waiting to break?_

"I'm looking for a way to escape," Deidara explained, sighing heavily as he slumped a little through his legs, needing the fence to keep from falling down now. It would've been so much easier if Deidara hadn't screwed up. If he simply had stuck to what he knew and not try to achieve more. But that was his curse. Always needing to strive further, and get in trouble along the way. He was only going to do the other wrong. Just his luck.

A flash of light was casted across the sea, a passing boat trying to find its way through the darkness. It brought Deidara right back to about an hour ago. The moment where everything had fallen to pieces. The moment where Deidara had shot a hole through every single thing that he loved.

Slumping further down the other finally caught him, making sure Deidara would not hit the ground. Sky blue eyes met dark orbs, and that gaze Deidara held onto, a distant memory now part of them. Because this was their meeting place, and Deidara knew he would come here to seek him out. To see if Deidara was still around, because news travelled fast, especially when you carried the name Uchiha.

The place where they had first met, at the bay side right here, secluded and wishing they were all alone. But they found each other, Itachi always showing up whenever Deidara was there as well. It was time to let it all go. Here at the roadside they used to know. In the moon light and under the stars. The ocean could carry it away, letting their memories drift away with the waves. But maybe there is a time to change their mind, and hold onto the feeling they had. Not let all their problems bother them too much, and choose each other instead. But was it truly that easy? Wasn't it far easier to let it drift away, let all the sorrows drift away.

 _Oh, love, can you hear me?_

Deidara had always been the one to get into trouble. Hanging out with the wrong crowds and making the wrong type of friends. There had been addictions and theft. Whatever had been the rage at that moment, Deidara was up for it. The police knew him well, and he had spent a few days in jail. They had told him to think about his problems, about his ways. But it was as if he had been born with a loaded gun, shooting everyone he loved down with the trouble he got in.

The same happened when he met Itachi. No matter how happy it made him. No matter how many times Itachi convinced him everything would be alright, if he just behaved better. Deidara couldn't. The pressure of being better than he was, because he had standards to live up to now, made it worse. Itachi was worth more than dating some kind of criminal. His family definitely agreed, thinking Deidara was nothing more than a way to wreck their good name.

 _I'm sorry for everything_

The gun had been bought easily, because Deidara had his sources, and he needed a gun when a certain rival came back into town. One that wanted Deidara's head on a stick for a long time. A threat Deidara took very seriously, and it was smart of him. The dumb part came when he sought out the rival voluntarily, and only made the situation worse. The first time Deidara shot a gun was a hit straight away, the bullet sinking right into the guy's thick skull. It brought along a message no one could deny. Don't mess with Deidara. The guy's friends still tried though, firing their own guns right back at Deidara.

The bullets sunk into the side of the car, shattered the window as they crashed through it, and eventually one settled right in Deidara's side. The flesh was burned first as it slipped deeper, and then the blood started oozing out, weakening Deidara minute by minute. Deidara still found the strength to drive off and come here, waiting on Itachi to either join him and otherwise Deidara would've left without a word to perish somewhere alone. It had been his own mistake, and perhaps it would be easier this way. Dying shouldn't be that hard.

At least now they could say goodbye, right here at the bay side where they used to meet. It was time to let it go and leave this place. Let the memories drift away.

 _In the meantime can we let it go_

Sirens could be heard in the distance, but Deidara was fading out too much to really comprehend. There he laid in Itachi's arms, the crashing of waves soothing him to sleep. The sirens came closer though, and right as Itachi started the panic, knowing what moment was about to come, the ambulance pulled in. A stretcher was rolled in as two others pulled Deidara from Itachi's arms, getting him on the stretcher as fast as they could. An oxygen mask was placed over Deidara's lips and they instantly focused on closing the bullet wound on Deidara's side.

More cars pulled in, some with sirens and some without, and as Itachi got up again his eyes met his father's from across the grounds. They didn't need to share words for what needed to be done now. This whole problem would be stuffed away in a dark place, and Deidara would not have to go to jail. Because that was what the Uchiha name was capable of. Deidara would stay with Itachi, forever if he had a say in it. They would give Deidara blood, and he would need to recover in the hospital for a while, but once healed, Itachi would never let him go again.

But first he would need to dispose of the gun.

 _And there's always time to change your mind_


	2. Gold

This is my favourite song on the album, though it's really hard to decide which one is the best... Here I can't stop seeing Deidara dance, so here a story where he dances.

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: Some light sexual content

...

A thick air lingers in the room, smoke blurring Itachi's view as he slowly steps around the cushions and pillows thrown to the floor. The carpet is soft under his bare feet, and it tickles him as he reaches the grand red velvet chair, golden details on the armrest and the legs. A lightness had taken over Itachi's mind, either the alcohol or the drugs finally taking affect. The moment Itachi had been waiting for, craving for. Slumping down onto the stuffed cushion on the chair, Itachi let his eyes slide through the room, taking everything in.

Fame, fame was what had gotten him here. Right here in this luxurious apartment where diamonds and crystals were used as a mere decoration. The music was blasting from expensive speakers, the beat making the floor vibrate right under their feet. It was a quiet party though, only people with an invite could enter. Men and women were sprawled out everywhere, some too absorbed into each other to notice what was going on around them, and some too absorbed in themselves to notice they were being cheated on.

 _Who can you trust?_

The beat changed into something almost erotic, the entertainment flittering in through side doors, here to please whoever paid them well enough. Body parts were painted gold, mixed together with skirts out of the finest of golden silks, little bells tinging whenever hips moved in just the right way. As predators did the entertainment group seek out their victims, preying on the ones that whistled the loudest, the ones whose eyes bulged the most as they glanced at their almost nude bodies. Breasts were left bare, several men already letting their fingers slide over the supple flesh. A taste would follow next.

But it was not them who Itachi watched. Itachi had no desire to suck on offered breasts, stuffing barely there skirts with money he no longer valued. Everything Itachi touched, turned into gold nowadays anyway. There was nothing money could still buy him.

So it was the completely gold painted boy that caught his attention. No bit of skin showed any of his natural colour, everything hidden away under a chrome golden colour. Wearing only a golden thong did not leave much to the imagination, but the guy did not seem to mind. Hips swaying just right on the music he took the centre of attention, sliding right onto the small stage created just for them. The long locks of hair were even painted a fair gold, but here Itachi could see a bright blond shining through. He was just so incredibly gold, like a price Itachi could win, if only he worked hard enough.

Everything Itachi desired was right there offered to him. Statues, empires, everything his little heart could want, would sweep his way and would be granted to him. Money flew out of his hands, because he had too much to spend anyway. None of the materialistic stuff mattered anymore. Nothing satisfied Itachi anymore. But his greed made him spent his money. Throw it all away and get nothing in return. It never ran out anyway.

 _You'll no longer fear when your heart's turned to gold_

As the dance progressed on the stage, golden hips moving from left to right just precisely right, the guy had slowly but gradually made his way towards Itachi. Now almost in arm's reach, Itachi could feel his fingers itching, needing to touch that golden skin, claim that golden skin. Every bit of the boy's body was perfect, proportioned just so that everything fitted. He was petite, but muscular nonetheless, a six pack shining through the golden paint.

And then right before a golden thigh grazed Itachi's leg, eyes snapped open, shining the most beautiful light blue colour Itachi had ever seen. With a racing heart he realised he really needed to have this one. This beautiful boy with his golden skin.

 _Gold_

A smirk slithered on those gold lips, showing off a pair of pearly white teeth. Never missing a beat the guy slid towards Itachi, feet barely leaving the ground as he finally reached the red velvet chair. One lean leg was posed beside Itachi's thigh, the other gold painted leg following suit, straddling Itachi's lap so he could no longer leave. A prey had been chosen, and Itachi would count himself lucky.

Even there, sitting right in his lip, did the boy not stop moving, waist curving left and right to accustom to the music, hair flowing around him as if it was carried up by the air, a smile playing around those golden lips that were asking to be kissed. "I'm Deidara," the boy murmured when his move slid him forward, lips touching Itachi's ear briefly.

The air around them had turned thick with lust, it spreading around them like wild fire. Most of the entertainment was already rid of any piece of clothing they may have been wearing, forced to bend over tables and couches to let the rich and famous get what they wanted. Everything was right there up for grasps. Even Itachi now only needed to slide the little thong to the side and simply take it, because this is what being famous meant. Taking whatever you wanted, deserved in his eyes. And Itachi deserved this golden boy.

"I'm…" but he was silenced before he could ever finish his sentence.

A finger posed against Itachi's lips made him go quiet, and as the guy in his lap sent him one last smirk, it slipped down and started undoing the various buttons of Itachi's shirt. "I'm aware," Deidara murmured again, his voice so deep in sensual it made something throb with need between his legs.

Normally one's heart would be racing now, excitement taking over as the scene developed. The prospect of having sex in front of others should entice fear of it coming out. But this was nothing new. Itachi had experienced it all, alcohol and drugs being partially the fault of that. Now Itachi didn't feel anything at all.

 _I feel nothing_

The beat returned with power, the body above him grinding down on whatever Itachi was willing to give, and Itachi was ready to give it all. The lithe body moved to the beat again, riding Itachi as if he was some kind of toy. The little thong had already been slipped to the side, Itachi's pants undone to expose his hard length, it now forced so deep inside the golden boy Itachi was sure it would come out on the other side. A weird thought by a drug induced brain.

It all didn't matter anymore now. Positions changed, music changed, but the beat stayed. The golden boy never stopped swaying, no matter how Itachi gave it to him. Writhing right in front of Itachi, Deidara let out cries that even matched the beat. As if he was made to live his life on this tune, it so perfectly combining with every part of this gold.

And Itachi would love this golden boy, if only for tonight, because tonight this golden boy was his.

 _When everything you touch, turns to gold_


	3. Smoke and Mirrors

Number three with an angelic spin, because I adore angels in every form...

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: No warnings

...

A blue sky above, a few clouds smeared out as a white fog. A clear day with no end in sight. A soft gust of wind blew through the lands, sweeping up his hair to let it fly up in the air. Equally blue eyes were moved up, gaze focused on what was above. Tracing the barely their clouds, there was not much else to find. Waiting on a sign, any sign, he stood there on the tallest building, waiting for something to come. But no gust of wind was going to sweep him up and guide him there, guide him back.

On his knees he asks for forgiveness, over and over again. This time he would keep his word and not ruin things once more. In his heart he knew this was the truth, his mind coming up with all the right things to say, to make it right. But forgiveness never came for him. Dreams were drawn out for him as a what if, showing exactly what he was missing out on. Showing what could have been if he hadn't taken a step too far. If he hadn't broken the rules for his own needs. Only one decided now. There had had never been one moment of doubt. Thrown out of heaven with a single push, Deidara found himself falling, his life taken away by the one in charge.

 _Take me away, take me away_

Spreading his wings Deidara takes flight, the need to be higher up in the sky growing stronger by the minute. More and more dreams were sketched for him, projected onto the blue sky as a deceitful truth. Desperately Deidara clung to those images, believing that this could be what he was working towards. That this was what was waiting for him. Back up there, back where he belonged. His home. It was a way to torture. Telling Deidara bittersweet lies, because chances were always slim that he was let back in. And yet he still wanted to believe, clinging to a possibility that may never be true.

 _Is it just smoke and mirrors?_

Years and years Deidara had been here already, seeing the buildings get build and rebuild until humans could no longer figure out what to improve. But the dream never disappeared, never vanished. Day after day Deidara worked, tried harder, got better. All to just be up there once more and be with his family.

Leaving the buildings behind he flew up, higher and higher until he could not be seen with the naked eye anymore. The air around turned colder, the freezing temperature weighing Deidara's wings down, but he would not stop. Beating as hard as he could he reached that one place he needed to be. One cloud that was so high, no human would ever be able to see it. Carefully Deidara put one foot down, feeling the soft texture fall apart right under it, but eventually it held his weight. Snapping his eyes up, Deidara's gaze landed on that one person.

 _Heart breaker, gatekeeper_

The large golden door was closed, guarded by only one person. The one that had casted him out in the first place, deciding his rule breaking was over. Rules Deidara had broken for him alone. But he held more love for the law than he held for Deidara.

Falling to his knees Deidara's whole body trembled, wings rustling as his whole body gave out. A heavy sadness had turned Deidara's heart cold, it broken beyond repair. If only he could come back and stay this time. The thing Deidara wanted most was to hear him say the truth. Give him the answers he had been waiting on for so long. See his lips move and actually say the words. But he only got dreams, cruel dreams, filled with what ifs. Things that would not happen, but would torture Deidara to no end. All he wanted now was to have the pain disappear. Everything was slipping away, his life over all because of this. Could he not grand Deidara one last thing?

 _Open up my mind_

With delicate steps the gate keeper moved towards Deidara. His golden uniform glistened in the setting sun, it casting shimmers all over his pale skin. With dark eyes he could see through everything, and with its red glow it could create illusions whenever he wished. Black hair was loosely tied back, the dark bangs sheltering features away that give him even more of a mysterious look. He held something frightening yet alluring. The beauty of an angel with the essence of something more. One could not have pictured a better guard. A better person to decide who stays and who goes. Which soul would be granted life here and which soul would be casted back down to live yet another life.

Feet appeared before Deidara's gaze, forcing him to get back up from his knees and stand proudly, before more dreams would appear. Before more lies were created just to ease Deidara's brain. He had never been fond of that red glow that lied in those dark depths. But he had ignored it as everything else had lured him in.

 _I want to believe_

"You are not allowed back in," the sultry voice announced, the lips not used to forming words. The silent man lived inside his head, using images rather than actual words to convey things.

The decision was final, heart breaking, but final. Deidara had no say in it, could not fight longer, because there was no way to fight it. Every time he told himself he was ready, it all disappeared right as he reached the doors to heaven. All because of the man in front of him. Averting his eyes Deidara let the silent tears stream down his face, the thought of never returning home pulling him apart.

"We are not allowed to love, and as long as your heart stays tied with mine, you cannot fulfil your duties as an angel. As long as your heart is not freed of your feelings for me, you cannot come back."

And oh, had Deidara tried to let him go. Shun the love he felt and continue on without ever looking back, but he could not, and the gatekeeper could see all too well. Able to see everything inside his heart. Deidara could blame him for making his feelings worse, the dreams and what ifs creating an image that would be perfect. But he could only blame himself for not letting him go. Deidara knew though, that if he let himself, that Itachi could love him too. And that was the dream he held onto, even if they were just Smoke and Mirrors.

A hand was placed against Deidara's chest, a burning heat spreading through his skin instantly. The inevitable was coming, but right before that, lips crashed against his. A kiss shared right in front of the gates of heaven, passion lingering between them Deidara could only have imagined. And as the kiss moved on, Deidara inching closer as the need for more grew inside of him, the hand against his chest grew firmer.

Without warning Deidara was once again cast out, pushed off the edge to fall back down towards earth, where he would stay forever.


	4. I'm So Sorry

The next one for ItaDei week! The beat in this one is really nice and at the end a guitar solo where I can just see Deidara's smirk in. Make sure to check out the song!

Rating: T-rated

Warnings: Hints of abuse, violence

...

Standing in the middle of his messy bedroom Deidara once again found himself in a position he had been in hundreds of times before. Not a week went by without at least once this occurred. And he simply swallowed it all, never talking back, because what could really be done? It only made the situation worse, he knew. Being yelled at was not as bad as waking up bruised the next day.

"You don't do shit around the house! And then you stand here with your smug little face! What are you even good for, huh? Taking my money, that's what you're good for! You little piece of shit!"

Gritting his teeth Deidara watched the man turn around in the doorway, yelling more things about how Deidara was not fit to do anything. How he would not succeed in life. How he would forever leach off his parents, because what else could he do? But today was the day where Deidara finally would speak up and put the man in his place. Let him know exactly what Deidara thought of him. It was about time someone did, pride of the man as misplaced as ever.

"And how is it that you are bringing in the money, asshole? You don't even fucking work. You drink mom's money away!"

Before he could storm back in, Deidara threw the door closed and blocked it with his dresser, as he had done many times before. This was enough to start the biggest fight they had ever had, but it was worth it. He needed to be strong now and fight for his own rights. This was his battle and he would win, at least a little bit.

 _You gotta face up, you gotta get yours_

From under his bed Deidara yanked a big duffle bag and started stuffing it with everything he needed. Clothes were crumbled up in balls, shoes shoved in there, and every other little thing he may need were thrown on top. The door was cracking under the weight the man was putting against it, trying to fight his way in. Trying to break it down, so he could teach Deidara a lesson. It wouldn't be long before it eventually did, the alcohol giving the man some type of super strength, or perhaps simply adrenaline.

 _A son of a stepfather_

At least the man had always been honest with Deidara, his ideas being something he truly believed in, even if they were often wrong. When all had come out and all the answers were straight, then he was happy. Unfortunately Deidara was anything but straight, which had not made this any better.

"Open this fucking door, Deidara! Your little sickening boyfriend will not come rescue now, so give up. I will come for you!"

Zipping the bag closed Deidara was ready. The hinges of the door squeaked under the pressure and were about to give in. Deidara paid it no attention as he flashed a glance at his phone, the message on there pleasing him. With a spurt he made his way to the window, pushed it open and with ease flung his legs out. A route he had often taken just to get out of the house. Get away from everything here. There was no use to reason anymore. It would be a waste of precious breath. It was now finally time to choose for himself and get the hell out of this hell hole.

 _You never know the top till you get too low_

Sliding down the drain Deidara landed on his feet, right in their backyard. With a crash he could hear his step father had finally burst through the door, giving it all his strength he possessed. His bedroom must be a mess now, but it didn't matter. He would not return for anything. This was it.

Not giving his step father enough time to figure out where Deidara had gone, he marched towards the backdoor, pushing it open to enter the kitchen. There leaning against the counter he found his mother, softly crying to herself. Maybe the man really loved her. Deidara had seen how good he had been to her. The man had just never liked children, no matter how old they were. He had always despised Deidara, for claiming more time from his mother. It was wrong of her to let the man do that, but no matter what, Deidara loved her.

With a heavy heart he walked towards her and held her face between his hands. Something she had done often when he was younger. When he was the one that needed comfort. "I'll make it up to you somehow," he whispered to her, wanting it to ease the ache in her heart a little.

 _I know that I did you wrong_

A loud roar let Deidara know it was time, his step father having figured out where Deidara was right now. Quickly he let go of his mother, her hands sliding off his forearms so easily, as if she had already given up. But she had given up years ago. Quickly Deidara ran towards the front door, shooting past the stairs the man came storming down, shouting every profanity he could think of. More accusations, more insults. How the man hated Deidara, without really having a good reason.

Throwing up the front door Deidara jumped out of the house he had lived all his life in. The walls shook with the force Deidara threw the door closed with. Pushing his key in, he locked it from the outside, buying himself enough time to get away. The door was yanked from the inside, the man trying to open it and still get to Deidara. But before he had found his keys, Deidara would be long gone. Casually Deidara threw his former house keys in the front garden, finding no need for them anymore.

Walking down the path Deidara let his mind wander to the good times for a while, remembering when there had been no step father yet. When it had just been him and his mom. The happier times. He would miss her, no matter if her decisions had been wrong.

 _I'm so sorry_

 _I'm so sorry_

 _I'm so sorry_

As Deidara turned the corner and let his eyes fall upon someone familiar, his heart made a little jump. The angry and sad thoughts were pushed aside as he made his way towards the sleek black car, it almost vanishing in the dark night. Leaning against the trunk was his saviour, the one who was going to take him away from all this shit. The one who had convinced him to fight in the first place.

Jumping into Itachi's car was the easiest thing he had done so far.


	5. Bet My Life

I already wrote a scene on this song before, but I figured out another scene that could fit on this one! It made me think of another song a few times... "Speak Now" by Taylor Swift. A sweet song, and you'll see why!

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: No warnings

...

As the organ starts playing its usual tune, and the crowd turns around to watch the large wooden doors open to let someone enter, he is the one that keeps looking forward. With pain in his heart he is currently there, watching the love of his life marry someone else. She is beautiful in her white dress, and she looks sincerely happy as she makes her way down the aisle. Her steps are firm, but she follows the music, not wanting to rush through this moment, her moment.

It had all been his own fault anyway, that it was not him currently there. That he was not dressed in a suit, smiling up at the man he held so dear. It was Deidara who had chosen a life where there was no place for him. Where he turned unhappy while Deidara spends his evenings wasting away, celebrating life in a way that was not as fitting. Pushing him away, Deidara ended up alone, as he first wanted it to be. No tears would be shed for him if there was no right reason for it. But finding himself on this uncomfortable wooden bench somewhere on the side, while he was getting married, seemed awfully wrong.

 _I know I took the path that you would never want for me_

There had been enough happy memories though, even if Deidara had chosen to ignore them. They were bursting with love and life, the taste of something better lingering in every moment they were together. And now Deidara knew he had it so much better when he was together with him. That beautiful man dressed in an all-black suit. His hair falling loosely on his shoulders, hiding away his sharp features. They really looked like a perfect picture together.

During all his travels through the years, trying to shed every thought of him off, Deidara never imagined himself returning home, returning to him. But reality had been different. Reality had been that every travel Deidara made, had been chosen with him in mind. Thinking about what he would like and if he would've enjoyed it. Every decision he had ever made, had revolved around the man about to get married to the wrong person.

How could Deidara even think that coming here was a good idea? Seeing the smiling families, parents getting teary-eyed about this happy occasion. What good could it do? It had been his own fault all this time. Deidara had told him that they would never see each other again, because there was no point to it. They were too different, and it was no use to fight for something that was not there to begin with. It was the first time Deidara had seen him cry. But it had not changed a thing, because Deidara had left regardless. All because of a dream that had never come to life. A dream that could not be fulfilled without him in his life anyway.

 _I gave you hell through all the years_

And then the priest started speaking, the wedding really starting. The whole church grew quiet as everyone's attention was at the loving couple in front of them. Voice easily carrying through the entire building, Deidara could feel the sentence coming. Could feel the moment approaching. The one that could change everything, if he took the chance. The romantic opportunity. The moment where for the first time he would lay out everything, and made himself incredibly vulnerable. A moment that frightened him, but it was his last chance.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

With shaking legs Deidara stood up and moved to the aisle. A gasp echoed through the church as more and more people noticed what was happening. It hardly ever happened, but here Deidara was, taking a stand. Speaking now, even if he could not utter a word. Seeing the bride and groom turn around, and seeing him stand there. Deidara's heart pounded so hard, he was sure it was about to burst out of his chest. The bride had no clue who he even was, raising an eyebrow at the situation at hand, because surely he could not be here for her. And Deidara indeed wasn't.

 _Don't tell me that I'm wrong_

Taking a step forward Deidara turned his pleading eyes towards the person he knew so well. The one he loved with all his heart, and had missed during his lonely travels. Life was not better when it was lived the way Deidara had. That life was gone now, and here he was, asking for something almost impossible.

But the shimmer of doubt was visible in those dark eyes, and even the bride started questioning the groom when his feet started moving. The pull on his sleeve stopped the groom dead in his tracks though, knowing he may be better off where he was now. More security and lasting love. Deidara had done everything wrong, but it was all different now. It was a time passed where he was young and foolish. He had grown up and was ready for this, understood what it meant. This was true love.

"Please forgive me for all I've done," he whispered, but the groom heard him all too well.

Jumping off the small platform Itachi left behind his beautiful bride, ran passed the shocked family members, ignored the shouts of parents that did not agree. With hope in his heart he ran and grabbed Deidara by the hand, dragging him down the aisle, and out of the church. Because never had Itachi been able to forget about his first love. The one that had hurt him so badly, but had made him feel more than he ever could've dreamed of. His bride had been beautiful and kind, but she had never been as glorious as Deidara.

And there in front of a church that would forever reject their love, they declared their love for each other. A kiss shared, emotions flowing through, hearts beating as one. This was it, the end, and this was what they would forever live for. There would be no one else, ever again.

 _I bet my life on you_


	6. Polaroid

I love the lyrics of this one... Because there is one line in there that just screams Deidara to me. "I am the colour of boom" How can that not be Deidara, right? Unfortunately the story may not have as happy of a tone...

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: Mild violence

...

Flying through the house, Itachi was getting ready for work. Hitting a quick shower, eating breakfast as he was putting on his dress shoes, and a quick kiss on Deidara's cheek as he finally flew out the door. Leaving Deidara behind sitting on the couch with nothing to do except sit there. Because that was what life had turned into. Itachi needing to get all the money in while Deidara lived his life as it came. One after the other reckless decision throwing them in debts they could no longer afford.

 _I'm a one night too long_

But Deidara could not stop making rash decisions. Everything came to him on a whim. Quitting his job and aspiring to be an artist, failing badly at it. Moving to a new big city, because that would be the place where they would achieve what they could not achieve in another city. And Itachi went along with it every time. And when this decision would not prove to be worthy, then Deidara would start all over, and come up with the next brilliant idea. One that would fail utterly just like the one before, because none of his decisions were actually worthwhile.

 _Can't slow down_

And yet he was the one able to make all these foolish decisions, Itachi never stopping him. If only he had realised Deidara was a first class let down, and had told him to shut up and sit down. Itachi was the one who could think logically of the two, emotions not getting too involved. Or perhaps they did, as his love for Deidara only showed how he could not resist everything Deidara came up with. It had gotten them both into trouble, no matter how hard Itachi worked to make it all right. And somehow Deidara could never get to Itachi's level. No matter how hard he tried, what Itachi could, was something Deidara could never achieve. Like that pay raise that would never happen for Deidara.

 _And I am the colour of boom_

Standing up from the couch Deidara could feel it all hanging heavily on his heart, knowing he was the problem in this all. Dragging himself to the desk they had set up in their apartment, he let his eyes slide through the many pictures aligned on the surface. Was it a necessity to have this many pictures of them together, smiling up at the camera or simply looking each other in the eye. As if they could truly not live without one another. But Deidara knew better than that.

When had they reached this point where their love was better in picture? Where a Polaroid would seem happier than they were in real life. The smiles fake as they looked at each other so lovingly, fooling everyone around that they had never felt better. That this was all they ever needed. Their love was what made them happy. Money was not important, stability was not important. As long as they had each other.

 _Better in picture_

But what wasn't in picture were the moments where they had yelled at each other. Where Deidara had driven Itachi so far up the wall, that he had chosen to sleep on the couch that night. All because he wanted to talk all night, and not take into account Itachi had to work early in the morning. Or when Deidara had chosen to walk down a dark alley, to feel the thrill of fear buzz through his head, and instead had gotten himself beaten up. How angry Itachi had been for his reckless behaviour.

Itachi was just too perfect, like an opera always on time and perfectly in tune. While Deidara missed all those points, being the sole example of imperfection. Exploding behaviour with colours surrounding him that could no longer be explained.

 _I am the colour of boom_

Turning around to face the large wall behind the couch, looking at the painting he had once drawn with his heart filled with love. A picture of them together. The delicacy in his strokes showed how careful he wanted to be to capture every detail that was in their positions. How their eyes would meet, but also slightly glance away from each other. It had taken him months, but it had been worth it at the time. The time where Deidara still believed this was something real. That this was truly how far they could come.

But pictures lie, showing images that are not true in real life. Smiles that were never shared anymore. Loving glances that were never directed at the other. Avoiding was what they did. Avoiding the problems that had arisen, while faking happiness through pictures. No one knew how their relationship really was. They hardly realised it themselves.

 _But never can fill the void_

Now Deidara was finally to face the problems though, seeing how everything was screwed up. Deidara would face the consequences. Something had to be done. A conversation needed to start, or someone just had to leave. It was time to go outside and let the rain fall. Let it wash away every single thing that stopped them from moving on.

 _I'm gonna get ready_

The painting was ripped off the wall first, Deidara putting his knee through the rough canvas, smashing the image apart. All the photos were next, the frames shattering against the wall as Deidara threw them with force. His heart was filled with hate for those fake smiles. For the lies they had been telling themselves and everyone around. This was not what they were, and they would never be this again. With every frame less Deidara felt lighter and lighter, his problems sliding off his shoulders with every broken glass. Through the house he went, breaking every lie around that he could find. The picture stuffed in his wallet was torn to pieces and thrown around as confetti, because that was all it was good for. A celebration of finally facing the truth.

Deidara was dancing through the living room when Itachi came back in, having forgotten an important document for work. Glass was littered all over the floor, the frames leaving behind a mess that would be hard to clean. But the gleeful smile on Deidara's lips was what struck Itachi as the most odd. That was until those blue eyes landed on him.

Defeated they looked at each other, because this was the one step that would be hardest, but there was no turning back now. Slowly Itachi walked towards Deidara, glass crunching under his feet. Out of his pants pocket he fished his cell phone and pressed a button. And right as he reached Deidara, pulling his lover into a kiss, he snapped a picture. A new picture, of them together. Where there were no lies, but only tears. Tears shared for each other. Because no matter what, Itachi loved Deidara with all his heart.

 _Love is a Polaroid_


	7. Friction

The instruments used here and the way he matches his voice to it while singing, is absolutely brilliant. Now having that said... This is a small sequel on the oneshot posted on Monday, titled: Seducing the Enemy. No need to read it, but it gives it a better base :) Make sure you check the warnings:

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: Violence, character death

...

It was all about status, wasn't it? Force everyone down on their knees, so he could make use of them. This was all about achieving more, proving he was better, stronger, the right heir to the throne. The Uchiha throne. But with everything happening, he got stuck in the middle. So it was time, time to make a difference. Time to show his worthy. So with a rough beating heart he made the decision, the decision that would make everything else crumble down. Status was everything, and all else could be stolen away. That was what Itachi was fighting for now.

 _Get out of the middle and rise to the top now_

Perhaps Deidara had not been on that level yet, or had casted the whole idea away, because there were better things to be living for. A high position was not everything. Deidara had seen what it had done to his father, to his family, just like Itachi had. But both regarded the consequences differently. Deidara understood nonetheless, no matter how much it hurt. It was to be expected. How could this not end like this? One of them would've been the one to give up on the other. Deidara never expected it would be this soon though, and part of him hoped it had never come.

But now Itachi would make it. Would rise to the top and get what was coming for him. Itachi had worked hard for it, had done everything to grasp the higher position he was aiming for. Maybe when this was all over, he could tell Deidara his secrets. Could explain to him how it was done, because Deidara was playing this all wrong.

The first fist hit Deidara square in the face, bruising the skin right on his left cheek as his head snapped to the right. Blood welled up inside his mouth, teeth having broken the skin on the inside. Another fist came right after, giving Deidara no time to actually recover, this one hitting him right in the stomach, making him double over as he coughed up the blood from the first punch. The chair he was tied to prevented him from actually falling forward, the ropes tied around his hands keeping him firmly in place. The light flickered ominously around them, the smell of the cold wet basement now mixing with the blood and sweat coming from Deidara.

 _You can't fight the friction_

"You know where the money was transferred too."

Deidara spat some more blood onto the floor, not wanting the swallow the excess of it. His jaw stung badly, and he could feel the bruise rising right away, but at least they had stopped hitting him, for now. It didn't help that Itachi's tone had been so cool and standoffish. As if they didn't know each other at all. The worst part was that he had two of his little helpers beat him up. Deidara was not even good enough to be punched by Itachi himself, or the guy was simply too scared.

Hair sticking to his face, Deidara tried to sweep it to the side with a head motion, but it didn't work enough. After that a smirk slipped onto his lips, showing off his bloodied teeth. Deidara would make sure Itachi knew exactly what he was doing here. "I don't know what money you are talking about, sweetheart? My pay check indeed gets transferred to my own bank account, if that was what you were wondering about." That gained him another punch in the face, but Deidara didn't let his smirk falter. "I guess not."

This really were typical Uchiha antics. Their little system on how to handle people, rivals, enemies. Get them down to a dark cellar, hidden away from anyone who might be able to hear, and beat them to a pulp until they let out the answers they needed. A bit brutal to Deidara's taste. Not as sneaky as it could've been, but it usually took some time before they even figured out someone was taken. Deidara was a different case though. They knew he was missing the second Itachi had kidnapped him. Finding him was a different thing though.

"You think you'll get that promotion now, Itachi? You think you'll rise to the top now?" Flashing his blue eyes at his previous lover, Deidara made an almost maniacal appearance. The two helpers took a step back, but as always, Itachi was unfazed. That coldblooded asshole.

Ushering one of the brawny guys forward again, Itachi spoke once more, his steady voice echoing through the basement to give it extra power. "Where is the money, Deidara? I know you are aware of where this money was transferred to. Our source tells us that you were even behind the whole mission. That money is ours."

 _When you've made it, won't you tell me what to do?_

And then there was a knee to the chin, making Deidara's head snap painfully backwards. The impact almost made the chair topple over, but the guy was quick enough in catching him, slamming Deidara back down onto his fist. The crushing sound of a nose breaking could be heard over the groans of pain. No matter how hard Deidara tried to keep them in, they would still come out. Tears had automatically welled up in his eyes as well, the stinging pain of the crushed bone really taking effect now.

This time there was no moment where Itachi waited for an answer, the system telling him it was better to beat Deidara to a pulp first, because then he would be too frightened, too bruised to not give them the answers they wanted. The taunting was what annoyed Deidara the most. "Just tell us where the money is, Deidara. What else do you have to lose? Be strong and let it go. We won't let you leave without an answer anyway, and no one is going to find you here."

"Don't tell me to be strong," Deidara spat and then head butted the guy right in the face, showing he still had some fighting spirit left. In the end it only meant the other guy joined in, never giving Deidara the opportunity again to retaliate.

When they were done with him, Deidara could only sit their limply, the ropes now needed to prevent him from sliding out of the wooden chair. Every part of him hurt, bruises blooming all over his skin, in various colours. His face was swollen, and his left eye could hardly be opened anymore, let alone see through. A few teeth had been knocked out as well, spat out on the ground. Blood was sprayed all around them, staining everyone's clothes, except for Itachi's. The Uchiha had made sure he had stayed far away enough to prevent from getting dirty. Everyone else was doing the dirty work for him. Pathetic.

A sudden green fleck of light caught Deidara's attention. His heart felt heavy at the thought of what would come next. Slumping down even further in sadness, Deidara wallowed in self-pity for a second, needing a moment to himself, even if there were people still trying to get his attention.

Why couldn't Itachi just have given up? Why couldn't he enjoy what he had? Instead he had to move forward, fight for things he shouldn't be fighting for. This didn't bring happiness. This didn't bring salvation. All it did was get him a screwed up life. This was not the place to build your life on, to build your home on. What kind of happiness would come for Itachi now?

Unexpected for all but one person in the room, the doors were suddenly slammed in, several people streaming in, filling the room until they were all surrounded. Itachi and his helpers had their hands up in the air, surrendering to the guns that were pointed at their faces.

It all happened so fast though. One minute it was deadly silent inside the basement, those dark eyes shooting from one gun to the next, trying to pinpoint a safe way out. Maybe it hadn't been Deidara who had done it all wrong. Itachi should've known better than to kidnap someone as important as him. This was his downfall, because the company Deidara was part of, wasn't one to go beat someone up. They weren't in need of answers, and wouldn't play around until they got what they wanted. There were different ways to get what they wanted.

As the hand dropped down as a signal, all the guns started firing at the same time, hitting the three men in the chest, in the head, in the limps. Wherever the bullets could slide through their bodies and graze vital organs. The sound was deafening, and Deidara shut his eyes firmly, not wanting to see how the bodies fell heavily on the floor, blood seeping out of them out of various holes. A silent tear slipped out, unseen by any of Deidara's co-workers. Family was what he called them sometimes.

Today they were no family though. Today they ruined something beautiful. Something that would never be repaired again. But at least Deidara was safe. At least Deidara would rise to the top now.

 _Ease it off_


	8. It Comes Back To You

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: No warnings

...

A soft breeze blows through the streets, lifting up skirts, hats and hair, it fluttering up in the sky as a greeting to the beautiful blue above. Everyone is out and about, enjoying the nice weather, even if the temperature was still low. Children are running around while parents do their best to keep them at bay. And between all the rushes of people, Deidara walks as well. Achieving a steady pace he walks along the sidewalk, avoiding any bodily contact that could happen. Sliding right passed a stroller, he continues on his way, the breeze lifting his hair up like a veil.

This morning had been rough on Deidara, his last burst of anxiety bursting out as his friends didn't agree with him. A simple beer turned into a verbal fight where Deidara was so done with it all. Everything that had worried him in life, had been caused by others. It had all started with his parents that had told him what to do. Where his future lied. And what exactly he was working for. All his dreams were created by his parents, and confirmed in therapy. They should've worked on other things in therapy, but money gets you a long way.

 _Am I just a shadow you drew?_

But now here out on the street, feeling the wind against his face, Deidara had turned optimistic again. It wasn't too late for him to look back at what he wanted. There was no need to actually follow every dream his parents had built for him. His past was not yet forgotten. As long as he took a deep look inside himself, he would be able to find it, he was sure of it. Deidara still had a future he wanted, without thoughts of others mixed in.

 _Looking back into the past and I can see it through_

A dark cloud suddenly moved over the city, darkening the world with a threatening hue. Rain was coming and it was coming fast. The town was suddenly deserted, everyone fleeing the scene before the water would come falling down. A thunder in the distance turned the world angry, hostile, and it was approaching fast.

Standing still in the middle of the pavement, Deidara looked straight ahead, his heart clenching over the symbolic meaning. Because he had thought about all the bright futures before. The dreams he had and still wanted to achieve, but never dared to. Every choice had flown by him, his blue eyes ignoring them as they passed. Maybe that was his way of living, his prerogative. Dreams could pass him by, but the thought of actually fighting for them was frightening enough. Maybe it was cowardly of him, but he had always relied on his parents, on his friends, on his therapist. Choosing his own path was not something Deidara could easily do.

 _Leave me to my studied bliss_

Suddenly the sky burst open, rain pouring down, cleansing the town of any dirt it could find. Glancing up at the sky Deidara could see the drops falling, landing right on his face, and sliding down his skin to drip off his chin and into his coat. A spark of hope moved through his veins as he let the rain wash away his worries. Maybe he could be cleansed as well.

An umbrella popped up right above him out of nowhere, the dark texture preventing the rain from drenching Deidara completely. Looking for the source Deidara found himself looking up in a familiar face, though he had not seen it in a long time. A soft smile adorned his lips, something Deidara had never witnessed before.

"I don't think standing here in the rain is a good idea, but you have always been an odd one," the other muttered, keeping his umbrella right above their heads. He did not usher Deidara to move though, but waited till Deidara made a choice for himself on where to go. "It was something I always liked about you though. The way you went against the masses and did whatever you wanted to do. If only I had dared that when I was a child, but not everyone could be you."

 _It comes back to you_

Deidara had not yet responded and he could see the frown forming on the other's forehead. Maybe he thought Deidara didn't remember him, their past so long ago. Deidara had been different then. Less controlled, and far more free. Seeing this face, hearing this memory, made Deidara do something rash. Reaching back for the person he once was, if only as a child, he spoke up.

"Would you like to have coffee with me?"

First Itachi seemed surprised, but then a soft chuckle left his lips as he shook his head. "Lead the way," he replied, motioning for Deidara to take the lead and get them to a coffee shop. And as Deidara started walking, Itachi said one last thing that made Deidara's heart make a little jump. "You really have not changed one bit. I'm glad."


	9. Dream

This is a sad one, guys... The song just cuts deep and then what I wrote didn't help really. Painful painful painful, at least I thought so. And this is the chapter I end today with...

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: light NSFW, hints of illness

...

With his head against the pillow, sheets barely covering his form, because it was simply far too warm, Itachi watched Deidara slip into bed. There were dark bags under his bright blue eyes, and his cheeks had gotten hollow over the years. Even his blond hair was not as vibrant as it once was. The frail body moved up to him, pressing himself against Itachi's warm body. Itachi could feel bones poking him in places, fat long gone from Deidara's body. Drained from energy Deidara let himself be hugged close by Itachi. Let his body heat warm him up, because nothing else would anymore.

Life was not filled with dreams other could achieve anymore. Itachi felt no need to wish for golden sights or of being on top. The pictures people had once created for him, futures that would be bright, had long perished. It was not as colourful as he had once seen it, but there was still a lot there.

 _It's not what you painted in my head_

Cold hands slithered down Itachi's body, touching places to arouse him. With a little help Deidara climbed on top, legs propped beside Itachi's sides. These moments were no longer easy, but Deidara never gave in. Trying to maintain the relationship they once had, Deidara seduced him as often as he had done before, making sure Itachi didn't feel the need to get his lusts from somewhere else. Never had Itachi glanced to someone else in the first place. It all made it worse. Seeing Deidara on top, struggling to even move sometimes. It was heart breaking and yet there was nothing Itachi could do about it. There was no need to break Deidara down and take his pride away. It was all he had left.

 _Everything's a mess_

So Itachi went along with it, and lifted Deidara up by his fragile hips, careful not to squeeze too hard. There was no need to make bruises on the delicate skin. Slowly he slipped into Deidara, a soft pleased sigh escaping Itachi's lips as he watched Deidara's face. He always tried to hide it, but Itachi knew it hurt.

The lights around them were dimmed, candles lit here and there to give the room a nice fragrance. Deidara's movements were slow, but he did his best. Itachi would keep his hips still and let Deidara do the work, as his lover wanted to, and Itachi was not one to take that away from him. This was not about pleasure anymore. It was about love, painstaking love, and it burned badly, making tears well up in Itachi's eyes. But this was there moment together and he would not let his pain destroy it now. Shouts coming from outside were ignored, annoying children not on their mind as Deidara lifted his hips again.

 _We have the curtains drawn and closed_

Trying to achieve a faster pace Deidara moved up higher and let himself snap down. The sound coming from his body couldn't be good, but he did not let it stop him. Itachi could only watch as Deidara made love to him, pleasure slowly creeping through his body. It always took longer now, making it even worse for his lover, but he could never comment. The only thing he was allowed to do was grab Deidara's erection in turn, and make him forget about the pain he was currently feeling. Make him feel pleasure just for a split second, so not everything was bad. In those moments Itachi liked to believe that everything was alright, a simple dream he could not release.

 _Life ain't what it seems_

When Deidara was finally asleep, the moment they had shared gone, his body bruised, Itachi sat on the edge of the bed. His heart ached too much to ignore it any longer. Seeing the pain every time they were together had finally broken down the wall. And Itachi understood why Deidara had tried to keep up this façade. Had done his best to make everything seem as if they had never changed. But no matter how Itachi now looked at it, everything was truly a mess. Nothing had worked so far. Nothing had actually changed anything about this situation, no matter how hopeful everyone had spoken about it. So what was the point in lying to himself. In being optimistic. Every second of the day it hurt, knowing there was nothing he could do to prevent this from happening. But now he was leaving this dream.

 _All of us were only dreaming_

As tears had started coming, and sobs had left his lips, Deidara woke again. Cold hands found Itachi's shoulders, holding him so delicately as if he was the one about to break. It was not the first time Deidara had found him there, nor would it be the last. Itachi's body shook under Deidara's hold, the pain making his breathing become heavy and far too quick. They had never deserved to be here, but life had pushed them on this road anyway, and this was all they had.

The blond wig had slipped to the floor, revealing a head that no longer possessed hair. Eyes were not as lit up anymore as Itachi finally looked up at his lover through teary eyes. The soft smile on his pale lips cut right through Itachi's heart, the painful truth so obvious in front of him.

"You know you need to have faith, Itachi. This chemo will work and then I will really be cancer free. We only need to believe, because there is nothing else we can do. I need you to be strong. If you're not strong for me, how can I be? You just need to believe with me, okay?"

 _Leave me to dream_


	10. Trouble

First song of today! I just want to trouble, alright?

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: No warnings

...

 _I'll bolt soon or later_

With the last complaint Itachi finally had enough. Ignoring every protest that left his parents' lips, he packed his bags, because it was now or never. Settling for less was not a possibility anymore. This life was not for him anymore. And as he stared at a picture of himself when he was nineteen, taken during a vacation with his family, he could see how lost he had always been. Even then Itachi didn't know what he wanted or where to get it, but he knew this luxurious life was not for him, and it was time to leave. So with his bags packed he got on a plane.

Landing on his first destination, Itachi sent a text to his brother, telling him to pray. The only thing he was searching for, was redemption. There should be more to life than living off his parents wealth. So he was on a mission, ready to find the thing he needed, whatever that may be. Running into a non in the airport, he asked her to pray as well, no matter if Itachi did not believe in god. He would need all the faith he could get now, even if it was not his own. And the sister would pray for him, and all his dreams he wanted to come true. Itachi had no dreams though, only a wish.

 _I want no trouble_

There was no plan for where Itachi was headed next. The world would be explored, not using his parents' money, but his own he did not have. Lifting his way across the country he had found himself in, he ended up in towns Itachi had never even heard of, let alone seen. He had seen the luxurious life. The marvellous foods, the expensive clothing, the incredibly houses. But this was new. This was interesting. The kind and generous people that did not ask for money, but only kindness in return.

With a cheap camera Itachi had bought on the airport, he had snapped pictures with all the locals he had run into so far. Photos that would mean a lot more than the vacation pictures taking with his family. This was real life. This was not something to please someone during their holiday, but more about how locals really lived. The way they cherished one and another and took care of each other when needed. Itachi was taken in without question, fitting in only because he stayed kind and tried to befriend them. It was new and thrilling, and he loved it.

 _I keep trying to find me_

The family he was staying with, were the nicest of them all, forcing Itachi to stay far longer than he had wanted to. A promise of the woman's son returning soon made Itachi decide he would wait. Someone his age, and raised by someone so wonderful, needed to be wonderful as well. Hopefully his brother was still praying for him, as was the sister, because life had never been better.

But it got better when the son did return home, flashing his perfect smile, and his bright everything. The kindness had passed on from mother to son, the generosity visible in the other's gestures. The promise of taking Itachi out to town came along, and Itachi was confronted with many friendly faces, all asking questions about his previous life. But all the bright blond son, with the most beautiful eyes did, was boast about how life was better here, and Itachi believed him, every word of it. And he never wanted to leave again.

 _A man on a mission_

Under the flashing lights in a discotheque Itachi danced with the blond son, sharing movements he had never seen before. Hips rubbing together in ways that left one thinking what they were actually meant as. The thrill of it all only urged Itachi to get closer. Put his hands on him, touch him, feel him. As the dance moved on, bodies perfectly aligned, Itachi found himself in a close embrace with him. Lips had found the other's, rubbing together in different ways, a mix of soft and rough, of lust and question. In the end all Itachi could utter, was the other's name. "Deidara."

 _Maybe you could save my soul_

The next day as Itachi awoke, Deidara was already sitting on the edge of his bed, teasing smile on his lips that caused a shiver to rise up Itachi's spine. The generosity had not disappeared, and the blond was as kind as he had been before, following right after his mother. And Itachi found himself staying longer as he explored more and more of the little town. There lived many people and yet everyone seemed to know each other. The streets were dirty, and everyone littered badly, and even if this town was not beautiful at all, it was the most beautiful place Itachi had ever seen.

And with a fast beating heart Itachi was rushed through an exciting point in his life with Deidara, pushed to limits he had never even thought of. There had been more dances, and dares had come along. Moments where they had been bad, and moments where they had done good. But the best were the times when they were simply alone.

It didn't matter if Itachi didn't speak their language, motions enough for him to start. He learned along the way though, catching phrases more and more. And eventually Itachi never left.

 _I'm just a man_


	11. Summer

A summer love...

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: light NSFW

...

 _Let me have you_

Letting his lips slide over Deidara's throat, Itachi pulled him as close as possible, crotch aligned with a perfectly shaped behind. Their hips didn't stop moving though, their feet never missing a beat as they danced around the room. The little cabin was filled with shouts of joy, enjoying the roughness with which the two males moved. Pulling at each other when the other danced too far away, using not only hands to get close, but lips to maintain the battle as well.

It was a dance Itachi had learned here, right here in this cabin. The music loud and pumping, with bodies moving in provocative ways. Deidara was the one to lure Itachi further in, teach him the ways of the island. Teach him how to move properly, love properly, fuck properly. And Itachi had greedily absorbed everything, watching the colours explode around him as Deidara showed him things he had never seen before. Right here on this dancefloor.

 _Show me all_

And there on the dancefloor their lips smashed together, as they so often had done before. Hands slipped under clothes in a far too intimate way, the cheer of the crowd only urging them on further. With that Itachi always hoped that Deidara would see, would finally open up to him. Would fall in love just because Itachi had fallen so hard.

 _Open up your mind_

Before Itachi could really make Deidara feel though, the other had pushed himself away already. Hips moved seductively as a blond eyebrow wiggled at him. With a few paces aimed so perfectly Itachi slipped right beside Deidara again, their hands tangling together as they danced around each other. Their eyes stayed locked, his dark depths sucking in that beautiful blue hue he could never get enough of.

During vacation had Itachi first come here, the island he had visited with his family. Investigating the beach to find something worthwhile, he had stumbled upon this little cabin, the small café only meant for locals to have fun with one another as they finally didn't need to work. Seeing the joy they had together, dancing in such lustful ways, Itachi found himself staying. Noticed by the boy that had served them at breakfast, he eventually got down on the dancefloor, and let Deidara teach him to properly dance. The luxurious hotel was soon forgotten, the riches not for Itachi anymore. It was not what he needed in life.

 _That's not for me_

The next summer they returned on Itachi's request, his parents far too happy about the fact that Itachi had really enjoyed himself during their vacation. The first return was frightening, but as soon as his eyes locked with those blue ones, Itachi was invited back in. That summer Itachi had lost his virginity, to the beautiful blond boy that had swept him off his feet so marvellously. It was only summer that could bring them these moments, every year again Itachi learning something new. Something he could not learn anywhere else. And Deidara was the perfect teacher that would take his time, but was harsh when Itachi took too long to understand.

 _Only in summertime_

Another close dance followed, their bodies pressed together so close Itachi could hardly breathe. Seeing the sweat trickle down Deidara's forehead, he suddenly realised how warm it really was, and how wild they had been moving. Their steps had gotten messy, their hands grasping the other far too needy. Hips sliding from left to right their steps led them towards the side door. Eyes had moved away from them as another couple had joined the dancefloor, their dance the same as where Deidara and he had started. The slow seductive one that announced what was about to come.

Hiding in the palm tree forest, they both discarded themselves from their restricting clothes, sheading shirts and pants here and there as Itachi pressed Deidara up against a tree trunk. If only he could let Deidara see how much he meant to Itachi. If only Deidara would open his eyes, and let his mind see what there was in front of him. But the kiss made everything rush away again, minds occupied with what else was at end.

 _Fall in love with what you mean to me_

The biggest problem was that Itachi was only here in summertime. Only here for a few weeks before he needed to leave again, and never had they stayed in contact afterwards. Never had Itachi even dared to ask for a phone number or an email address. The only thing they did was dance, and have sex in secluded places. Every summer Itachi would follow this routine where he would love Deidara as best as he could. Make love to him in the ways Deidara had taught him to.

What Itachi held onto, was the fact that every summer Deidara had been here. And every time their eyes met for the first time after a year of missing one another, Deidara truly seemed happy to see Itachi. That was all Itachi needed. The rest of the dream would be filled in some way, if only Itachi could convince Deidara this was more than just a dance.

 _Things will change with time_

 _But only in summertime_


	12. Hopeless Opus

This one was quite hard to write, or at least figure out a plot for. Until I found it...

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: NSFW hints, drug abuse

...

Sitting against the side wall, overlooking their beautiful spacious living room, Deidara finally took the opportunity to push Itachi away. Having his hands right beside Deidara's head, Itachi was forming his own personal cage, a teasing smile on his lips as he leaned down once more. But this time Deidara really pushed him away, letting out a chuckle as it was accompanied by a deep breath.

Maybe faking his own death was an option. They could catch some money if they got a life insurance, but would go to jail once they got caught and with their luck, they would get caught. It had been a dumb decision to buy this house, but fate could've been a little kinder to them. Could've granted them a little more, instead of this sharp right, hitting them right in the face. This was not what they had in mind when they pictured their future. Why couldn't they simply plan out their own life, without having others meddling in and ruining things for them.

 _It's not a picture perfect life_

They bought a house, with money they didn't have, with loans they should've have gotten, all because they wanted this house. And now it's filled with empty space, because there was no money left for furniture. The spacious rooms echoed whenever they passed by, the smallest sounds setting off a series of more. But they ignored everything they had done, not wanting to face the mistakes they've made. Because above else, this house made them so incredibly happy. Goofily happy almost, because it was theirs. Outside they kept up appearances, trying to participate in a race they could not even place for. They were fakes, liars, trying to hide what was really going on inside this house.

 _My Hopeless Opus_

Begging for an okay had not helped them when they had visited the bank. No safe would be opened for them to grand them money, and give them just a few more weeks to live off. Maybe one of them should just take the fall and go under with the debts they had made, letting the other get out, and live a normal life. But neither would let the other do that, because you went down as a team, not as an individual.

The mail slot was opened up, and more bills slipped in, forming a big pile right on their welcoming mat. No one would be welcomed into this place. Not with the way it currently looked, everything so empty and spacious. It was too beautiful to make use of. Their level of brokenness had reached a new low, the floor being the only furniture they had. They only owned the clothes on their back, together with the house they were sitting in.

In a haze Deidara jumped up, a big smile gracing his lips as he threw his arms up in the air, inviting the emptiness inside, because there was nothing else to offer. Itachi laughed right at Deidara, the situation getting more hilarious with the second. Neither would still face the consequences, knowing full well where everything had gone wrong. Where everything still was going wrong. They knew exactly what had become of them.

"Maybe we should just blow up the place and collect money of the insurance that way," Deidara offered as he twirled through their living room, no furniture there to stop him from spinning faster and faster, his socks sliding nicely over the hard wooden floor.

Rising to his feet as well, Itachi joined Deidara in this silly dance, taking Deidara by the hand, and spinning him around even faster. "I don't want to say goodbye to our house," Itachi pitched in, though he was still laughing, always laughing.

 _Cherry Bomb_

Every room was danced in, claimed this way as their own. Clothes were stripped off their bodies, because to them there was no difference anymore between lust or a simple laughing fit. All they did was fuck in every room possible, twice if they could, every day. The one room most occupied? Their creamy white bathroom. Because there on the sink was the only other stuff they owned. The only other stuff they spend money on, every day again. Everything they got in, would be spend on solely that. Food would be stolen. Water would be sufficient enough to drink. All they needed was that one shot every few hours, shooting it up their arms until the high settled in and urged them onwards.

Who got whom addicted, was a mystery. Both started at the same time, and neither was willing to stop. Because it simply made life so incredibly fantastic. They bought a house in this state, they felt happiest in this state. This was their everything, because there was nothing else left, and when the drugs wore off, the negative feelings kicked in, and no one wanted that. So they stayed high, kept pushing the syringe into their veins simply to feel the glee the drugs provided them with.

Because it was all they had.

 _It's not a picture perfect life  
Not what I had in mind  
Let me write my own line_


	13. The Fall

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: No warnings

...

Golden leaves fall down from the trees, fluttering slowly in the wind as they descend down, hitting the ground in the softest ways. The seasons are changing again, summer saying goodbye, making place for the fall. There was always something magical about the fall. The way everything changed colour. Temperatures lowering while the earth got this warm glow over it, as if it didn't want to welcome the winter just yet.

The thing Deidara loved the most was the way the leafs would crunch under his feet, breathing out their final goodbye as they crumbled under his weight. But today he wouldn't go out and step on all the fallen leafs. Now he could only watch them from the window, see them fly down at a slow pace, and then lie forgotten on the ground until someone else would pass by. Little kids in small rain boots or an elderly couple that would go for a walk in the colourful garden.

Sounds filtered into the room as a door opened, letting the noises from outside fill their privacy, but no one entered. It was a simple check-up, and Deidara was happy no one came to see them. Being here with a friend was enough.

Glancing away from the window, Deidara turned his gaze on Kurotsuchi. The girl was all smiles, dressed in a short white dress that made her long legs stand out perfectly. Her short hair was slightly curled, giving her a more feminine look than she usually preferred. She really looked beautiful today and today was a special day. Big steps were going to be made. Goodbyes to old lives would occur, while wishing this new life would be better. Maybe he should've spoken up sooner, but the words never seemed to be able to leave his lips. The fall was just so breath taking, that it was hard to just accept it. Maybe it was better to stick to the life he knew, and wait for the leafs to turn gold.

A hand slides over his shoulder as Kurotsuchi finally comes up to him. Her lips are turned into a smile, her eyes shining with an emotion that makes Deidara's heart swell a little. Slowly he stands up, using her hand as a guidance. The window is forgotten, together with the tree shedding his leafs outside, coating the earth in a golden hue.

"It's time," she murmurs, and all Deidara could do is nod in reply. The lump in his throat is far too big to swallow around, let alone speak. She really looks beautiful today.

The door from before is now opened again, this time Kurotsuchi's delicate hand reaching for the handle. The sounds are gone now, the hallway void of people. Their shoes clack loudly against the tiled floors, signalling others that something is about to happen.

Turning a corner with Kurotsuchi on his arm, Deidara finally meets the big wooden doors. As soon as those doors open, life will never be the same again. This is what it all comes down to.

Doubts had been creeping up in the dead of night, breaking him down to his knees, unable to ever see the light. There were just so many things that could go wrong. And life had been good as it had been so far. This would be saying goodbye to a life that he didn't really want to say goodbye to. Every moment had been summer, warm and bright, but welcoming the magic of the fall was still too much. What if this wouldn't be as he had imagined?

This was like breaking up with himself, saying goodbye to himself, and letting someone take his place. But his old ways had been fine. Waiting for the colours to turn to gold, perhaps forever.

The doors creaked open, the wood heavy for the two men to push open. This sigh moved through the room as rows and rows of people turned around to face the door. See who would come in, as if they were still in high school, and they were the students that were ten minutes late. Though there was no judgemental look. He had not been late, had he?

Unable to really look up at the people, Deidara chose to turn towards Kurotsuchi. Have this final moment together where he could simply rely on her strength, her smile, her confidence. He had never needed it before, but today was different. Fall had reached her long ago.

Her fingers slid through his long blond tresses, easily moving to the very end of it. It had been carefully brushed and styled until it looked perfect, showing off two blue eyes instead of only one for a change. Dressed in a black suit with a turquoise shirt beneath and a black tie, he was dressed to the tens. Everything had been thought of, making sure this day would be perfect. Deidara still would not have a skirt that flowed behind him as he stepped forward, nor would his heels click as loudly as Kurotsuchi's did as she walked away.

Deidara watched her leave. Walk all the way to the end of the path and then turn to the side, a big smile on her lips as she took place on the left, as his maid of honour. Another flutter moved through his stomach, eyes slowly sliding to the left. Lined up were three men in suit, face Deidara recognised all too well. The first was the best friend, dark blue hair styled up in spikes, sharp grin on his face as his black beady eyes moved from Deidara to the other. Beside him was the little brother, one who possibly cared more for the other than Deidara ever could, though in reality that wasn't really true.

Could he really say goodbye to this life and move into the fall? Stop waiting on the colours to turn to gold?

Lastly there stood the one he would be abandoning everything for. The same black suit with the same black tie, but a dark red shirt beneath to finish it all off. His hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, eyes so dark beneath that they always seemed a mystery to Deidara. His heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. This was it. That moment where Deidara would have to let go of those distant memories. What did they all mean anyway? For years hadn't it only been Itachi? Wasn't Itachi everything he knew? When everything would come crashing down and wither away, Itachi would be the one there. Because it's all Deidara really had.

 _I'm ready for the fall, I'm ready for everything that I believed in to drift away, Ready for the leaves, Ready for the colours to burn to gold and crumble away._

This really was the moment. The little push Deidara needed to understand and see that this was it. Music started playing, drifting over the carpet that was rolled out down the alley, creating a path for Deidara to walk on. It was slow and sweet, carefully ushering Deidara to take that first step. Lifting his foot he did just that, stepping onto the red carpet with a golden line on the side, giving it a fancy look. The rest of the room was dressed with red roses, the smell and their colour giving the room a warm taste to it.

Moving further Deidara kept an easy pace, trying his best to stay on the beat of the music. No one would walk him down the aisle, no one would give him away on this day. Because Deidara didn't need to be given away. Deidara had never been owned by anyone. This was his moment to shine, and show that he could belong to someone. After this was all over, Deidara would belong to Itachi, and that would never change after that.

Everything was moving too slow. As the certainty came over Deidara, he just wanted to be there at the end, right next to Itachi. He was all Deidara ever needed. Memories flooded in as he trudged on, slapping him hard in the face. All the things they had been through. All the hard ships and the happy times. Not everything had been as bright as the summer. There had been those cold winter nights that had done nothing but freeze Deidara to the bone. Sometimes he had wanted to run. But to what? There was nothing better to even run to.

Itachi had been the one who had made Deidara see. Who had woken him up and shown what the world really was like. And Itachi had done it by giving it his all. Never had there been any doubt, no matter how hard Deidara had ever made it on him. Itachi was the one, simply the one.

With a rush of energy Deidara ran the last few steps, just to be there with Itachi. Standing next to him and show the world how proud he was to even be here. That it was he who would be marrying Itachi Uchiha, and that nothing in the world would change that anymore. This was it, and would forever be it.

Moving up the small stairs to get on the small platform, Deidara held his breath. His hand reached out, and instantly Itachi's fingers met his. Their fingers laced together, Itachi's hold tight on Deidara's hand. Eyes locked and the whole room was forgotten. The pastor beside them, the best man behind them, the friends and family below them. They were not part of this. They could only witness this moment, the moment that made Deidara's heartbeat rise.

Before anyone could start speaking and start this wedding, Deidara leaned forward and whispered to Itachi, "I'm ready for the fall."


	14. Thief

While this story is from Itachi's POV, the song itself is as if it's from Deidara's POV. As if these are the stories Deidara keeps telling Itachi about. They are still children here, and it's set in a different time.

Rating: K-rated

...

In walks his new personal butler. A boy that at first barely knew how he was supposed to behave, but it had been so interesting getting to know him. Hear the stories that were told with so much excitement. See the bright smiles as he reminisced back to moments that seemed so far away now. It was something Itachi had never experienced before. Longing back to times in the past, and somewhere he couldn't fully understand either. It's not like life before had actually been better for his butler. Living out on the streets and all. And yet Itachi loved hearing all the stories of this boy.

Itachi dressed in his sleeping attire sat up in the bed, waiting for his butler to bring the last cup of tea he would be drinking tonight. Darkness had already swept through the city, signalling it was time for bed. Candles were lit here and there to shower the room in dim lighting, but Deidara would blow them out soon. The lips of the boy never stood still when he was alone with Itachi. With others around Deidara did not have permission to speak and talk about his life, but as soon as he found out Itachi enjoyed it, the waves of words never stopped.

"Have you ever run down the cobbled streets? It feels weird under your feet and you need to be careful you don't slip when they are wet. I once saw a horse slide down, taking the carriage with him. It was actually kind of sad, because he was hit with a stick to force him to get back up. But it really shows how careful you need to be. It's better in the outskirts where there are no paved roads. They just have sand there, and it never gets slippery."

 _There's so much more than you could know_

"But I still do really like the city, even if the people aren't really nice. Always kicking you away, because they say you smell. I never smelled myself," the young butler continued. Itachi was still sitting up in bed, eyes following Deidara until he sat down in the little chair beside the bed. Dark eyes were wide with excitement, wondering what story would unfold this time. Itachi had heard them all many times before, but no matter how often Deidara told them, Itachi wanted to hear again. Feeling his heart beating heavily against his chest, made him feel alive, even if he had not witnessed any of those moments in person.

"I don't think you smelled," Itachi pitched in, receiving a sweet smile from the blond boy below.

With a shrug Deidara pretended it didn't matter, his mind blocking the negative moments as much as it could. "I probably did smell, but it never bothered me. We didn't have as many clothes as we have here now. But it didn't matter then. We just avoided the rich people who said we smelled, because they were not interesting anyway. The best parts of the city are the high buildings. The church is so high, it touches the sky, and we would climb all the way to the top. The view is really amazing up there."

 _So take me back_

"Can you show me?"

Itachi should never have asked such an outrageous question, but Deidara instantly took him up on it. Dragging the heir out of bed, Deidara led him all the way out of the mansion, never bothering with changing attire. With bare feet they stomped their way down the long pathway. The darkness prevented from anyone seeing the two boys leaving the house, alarming no one that it may be unsafe for them out there.

By the time they finally reached the city, Itachi was freezing to the bone, but seeing the excited smile on Deidara's face made it all the better. Knowing every step by memory Deidara guided them down the streets, explaining what everything was. "This bakery has the best bread. We often went here to steal a few loafs to take home to the families. One of my friends got caught one time and was beaten up badly." Before the story could fully settle in, Deidara was already on the move to the next, pointing at a different shop. "The man that lives there is really nice. I don't think he makes a lot of money with the stuff he sells, but he always gave as a coin whenever we stopped by."

Feeling the mud between his toes and the cold wind rushing through his thin sleeping clothes, Itachi realised this city was not so marvellous at all. It was dirty and withering down, and yet Deidara loved it more than anything else. To him it held wealth and memories. Trying to see it with Deidara's eyes, Itachi wanted to see the things the boy saw.

 _No we don't want to see the truth_

With a yank Itachi was suddenly pulled along, walking down the cobble stones that were indeed not very comfortable. "It's the church!" Deidara pointed out, his eyes shining in the light from the moon. With a hurry in his step they moved to the huge building, the tower so high Itachi could hardly see the top.

Sneaking inside through a window they climbed inside. A winding stairs up led them through small paths, sharp corners turned to make sure no sister was around to catch them. But eventually the burst through a door and the cold night's air hit them in the face again.

With stars above them twinkling in the sky, the moon shining a soft white light over the city, Itachi could see the buildings stretch out until they ended in the fields up ahead. All around he could see the houses, the shops, the empty streets. The view was beautiful from the silent tower. But what struck Itachi as the most brilliant thing of all, was Deidara's smile as he looked out over the city, his eyes focused on the small house at the very end he once lived in. Opening up his arms, Deidara welcomed the cold breeze as he embraced the clear night.

 _When the stars look down on me_

 _What do they see?_

For a moment everything was good. Itachi couldn't picture himself anywhere but here, but of course it was too good to be true.

The door burst open as several men moved in, grabbing the two boys and holding them up, so they could no longer run away. Deidara fought their holds as best as he could, shouting that they needed to let go of him. Itachi's name was mixed in there at times as he cried for help, but Itachi was raised to believe adults knew what they were doing. And for Itachi it ended up alright. Brought back to the mansion his family was happy he was safe again, but after that he never saw Deidara again. Though he was sure in a next life, they would meet again.

 _Just like a thief_


	15. The Unknown

So it looks like this is not a happy story, but you may change your mind in the end...

Rating: T-rated

Warnings: Suicide, character death

...

Practically on his knees Deidara stood in front of the church doors, the sister refusing to let him in at the current hour. She was making this unnecessarily hard. Why would the church refuse to let him? Isn't everyone welcome in the arms of god? And hadn't Deidara come here with a pure heart, asking to be let in just this one, for a confession and a pray? His mother had always come to church, every Sunday on one of those wooden booths, listening to the words spoken to and for the lord. Deidara had been dragged along when he was a child, blessed by the sisters who had been there before. If only this woman would let him in now.

 _Oh, so let me show you something good_

The pastor or the preacher, Deidara never knew the difference, eventually let him in, saying indeed everyone was welcome when they sought help and comfort in the home of the lord. Seeing one of the followers of god so up close made Deidara apologise, his confession starting right there. Past mistakes tumbled off his lips as many of his decisions had turned into regrets. Forgiveness was what he looked for now, and this was one who could grant it him. At least this was what Deidara believed. Maybe he was a little star struck by the man he figured was very important, but for some reason this all mattered a lot now.

 _Pledge allegiance to my only_

Stumbling over his words the man in front of Deidara said he could not offer forgiveness just like that. He could only say that as long as he embraced god, that the lord would forgive him for all his sins. A strange religion Deidara thought, but it was his mother's before, and it was what Deidara needed to hear. It warmed his heart and with a skip in his step Deidara left the church. Maybe this would make a difference already. Maybe this would help him get where he needed to be.

 _After the people and places are gone_

Racing home Deidara got to his next destination. Ringing the doorbell he waited, because in reality it had not been his home anymore for quite some time, but it had been where he had grown up. His aunt opened the door, her face wrinkled with age. Her hair had been freshly permed, ready for another week to go. With a smile she greeted him, though Deidara could see she knew why he was here. A final hug lasted long, memories of his childhood flooding back into their minds. Life had been hard, but his aunt had been nothing but wonderful to him.

 _Set me free again_

The road continued as Deidara left his aunt's house, his eyes moving up to the sky for a moment as he watched the clouds pass by. A twinge in his heart made him think back to a different time, when he was much younger and was still learning to talk. His papa had been his hero back then, fighting in wars as he defeated the bad guys, and still Deidara believed that man could've changed the world. If only he had lived longer than the short life he had. A few more years, a few more moments together. A father and son. Deidara still missed him, but up there he must still be kicking ass. Another thought Deidara pushed aside for now.

 _Oh, I miss ya_

Rounding the corner Deidara started moving uphill. The sidewalk was empty, but cars drove past him as they moved down the hill, driving back into town. The one Deidara was currently saying goodbye to. A life he would forever leave behind, because it held nothing for him anymore. A harsh wind suddenly hit him from the side as he reached a more open space, the bridge not sheltering him enough. The iron structure rose high up above him, creating a dark shadow. But Deidara didn't feel its threatening glare, the confidence of what he was about to do far more important. The middle point was soon reached, and there Deidara found his end point.

Turning towards the side, Deidara hung his head over it and glanced down at the water far below. The current was wild and rocks stuck out here and there. A small smile formed on his lips, now even more sure than before. This was the place to be. Cars still passed by, but they were slowing down, watching as the blond man climbed onto the small wall that kept pedestrians from falling down the sides.

As Deidara faced the road, back towards the wide river, he could see cars stopping now. People were jumping out, shouting things at him that never reached his ears. With a smile he let himself fall, the rush of wind making everything else disappear. Gravity pulled at him, so hard that it only took a split second before he had reached the river. With a final crash against the rocks, everything turned white.

 _You will come back to me_

"I knew you would be here, Itachi," Deidara said as he felt warm familiar hands on his face, waking him up out of an angry dream, showing him a world he had never seen before.

God had allowed him into heaven.


	16. Second Chances

The melody of this one is so beautiful. I honestly know nothing about dancing the Waltz, and this song probably is not fit for it, but in my imagination it works. And the era this chapter takes place in, also fits well with the Waltz. So stay tuned for some dancing ^^

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: No warnings

...

A ballroom dressed in far too much gold, glistening under the many candles that shed their light through chandeliers. Couples were dancing, circling around one another as their feet always found the right places to step. Outside of the circle of dancing bodies stood the waiting ladies and gentlemen. It was a big feast, meant for women to find their ideal man, right here on the dancefloor. Many young ones had been invited already, taken by the hand, and swept right into a dance that would be the one they danced for life.

The bachelor wanted most was still standing on the side lines, eyes following the movements of others, but making no indication of wanting to join. Maidens around him were giggling, trying to get his attention with skirts so wide, they could hardly pass through anything. It was hard to miss them, everyone around always talking about the wanted Uchiha heir. Whispers moved through the ballroom, names of several maidens mentioned, ones he might be interested in.

 _There'll be no forgiveness for you to come around_

Finally the Uchiha heir moved from his place, pushing passed the crowd as he aimed for a certain corner. Whispers grew louder as men and women alike tried to see who it was the heir was aiming for. Who he was moving towards. Which lady had he chosen as his own?

There by the wall one tried to disappear right into the blue paint. Ballrooms really were not places he fancied to be. Their goal was not something Deidara was interested in, nor did he want to participate in such foolish actions. Not after everything that had already happened. How feasts like this were the cause of his loneliness. Dressed in a blue flower embroidered costume, gold details fitting his family brand, Deidara kept to the side as always. Whispers hadn't reached his ears, because he avoided them at all costs. Women were avoided just as much. There would be no dance for him tonight, not during a feast like this.

 _I won't break you_

The heir finally stopped as his dark eyes landed on his target, a slight smile playing around his lips as he stepped closer towards the one he was aiming for. Blue eyes were filled with confusion and hurt as he offered his hand, asking for a dance right in front of everyone. Deidara had never been able to keep his composure quite as well as Itachi could. Especially not when emotions were running high. Shooting his gaze from left to right, Deidara watched the crowd around him look back in astonishment. Some even in disgust. But no matter how they looked, Itachi didn't let his hand waver, nor did he pull it away.

 _If you can erase it then I can atone_

With slight hesitation in his gesture, Deidara offered his hand, and let Itachi guide him towards the dancefloor. This was something forbidden and wrong in the eyes of the crowd, but they all were far too polite and well-mannered to instantly jump in. For now it would be pushed off as a joke between two young gentlemen, who were only messing with their elderlies.

No less was true though, because they had danced so often like this. Easily they slipped into the right pose, Itachi's hand on Deidara's waist, while Deidara's softly touched Itachi's shoulder. The other two were holding each other, connecting them in a way they both loved. And then their waltz began, circling through the room with all eyes on them. Their movements were graceful and so well practised, perfectly fitting the scenery. Their bodies were so familiar with one another, they never had to signal their next move, the other knowing how to respond before one had even anticipated on it.

 _I will not let you down_

Time seemed to be standing still between them, their eyes never leaving the others. Deidara's heart felt heavy inside his chest, a knot in his throat as emotions rose high. A few days prior he had found out Itachi was meant to be wed in the next few weeks, because an heir needed a wife to share it with. Many allegeable women had already come to town to show they would be the right person. It didn't matter if Itachi had already found the right person. The one he loved more than anything. This was what was expected of him, and was what he would set out for. This was his feast today, and on a whim he had selected Deidara. Because it was always Deidara.

As Itachi saw the familiar happy twinkling in Deidara's eyes, he could not stop himself anymore. Stopping the dance he reached forward, and right there, amidst the people who would be most against this, Itachi kissed him. Kissed him as so many times before. With his heart spilled out right in front of Deidara, so the other only needed to take it. Every dance ended like this, but this was the first one not shared in privacy.

 _Forgive me_

An exasperated cry moved through the crowds as they witnessed a kiss that was never meant to be shared. One that was forbidden by law and could cost you your life. Maidens screeched as they saw their chance pass by. Men roared when the idea of this occurrence finally settled in. Storming towards the two men they tried to grasp their sleeves and prevent them from getting away with this. But Itachi was quicker on his feet, one of the best swordsmen around.

Easily he stepped out of the way, taking Deidara with him in yet another dance, this time actually aiming for a certain point. The dancefloor was now filling with the people that had been standing on the outlines, asking what was going on. Wanting to stop the two from going anywhere. But they were better. They knew how to get away. Slipping through it all the couple reached the exit, and as Itachi turned one last look on Deidara, a question in those deep familiar depths, Deidara answered with a nod.

 _Open up again, I believe in second chances_

Holding each other's hand, fingers laced together, they ran through the golden detailed door. Their steps echoed through the corridor, guards following them purely based on the sound. But Itachi had come prepared. The hallways they took were all left empty, a side door leading them outside. Bursting through it they stumbled down a small step. In the woods across the yard a carriage was waiting for them, the rider already sitting on top to see them out.

As hands once more tried to snatch them, Deidara and Itachi avoided them one last time, slipping through it all as if they had earned it. Jumping into the carriage they instantly rode off, down the pebble stones, and get to safety. A new life would begin here.

 _Goodnight_


	17. Release

The song I personally like least of the album, even though it carries a nice message... So I gave it a spin and hope you'll see it as well in the song :)

Rating: T-rated

Warnings: Hints of violence

...

With a rough push they are thrown out of the pick-up truck. It speeds off, its wheels blowing up a big cloud of red sand, showering them in a thin layer. The shouts and cries of the people on the truck faded away in the distance by the time they are really able to move. Bodies bruised and battered, blood and sand in places they really don't want to find it. They are silent as they get up, dusting their clothes off as if it mattered. As far as the eye reaches they only see sand, no sign of civilization around at all. It makes Itachi sigh, but he says nothing. He doesn't need to.

 _Twenty miles from anyone_

Turning their eye on the sun, they start to walk, slowly pushing forward as their muscles feel pained due to everything that had happened before. Deidara tries to cough up the sand in his lungs, but finds more blood coming out than anything else. If they had to die, this would be the right time. No more suffering. But heaven would not grand Deidara that. He had not deserved a kind treatment, not with everything he had done. Lying to Itachi may be the worst of all, and if it hadn't been for him, they wouldn't even have been in this position in the first place.

 _Cause heaven knows that nothing good comes free_

Making deals with the wrong crowd was not something Deidara should ever have done, but they were tight on cash, and still needed to pay the bills. For Deidara it was an easy solution, and Itachi never had to find out if everything had gone according to plan. Of course it was a set up, and of course he made deals with two rivalling gangs. It was supposed to be quick money, and now they ended up here, left for dead. After being tortured for information Itachi never had in the first place. Deidara had never felt this awful, knowing he was the cause of his lover being wounded so badly. Perhaps even for his death, but Deidara didn't want to think that far yet. Not yet.

 _In the hopes that I could be someone_

Hours had passed and Itachi had still not said anything. It was frightening, because silence with Itachi meant he was thinking. And when Itachi was thinking, he was making up plans. Those plans could now involve getting rid of Deidara forever, since he was not being informed on those plans. But how could Deidara blame him? Itachi was better off without him. Better off alone, where no one else could bother him. It was for the best, certainly.

 _And now I wonder if it's meant to be_

"It will soon go dark, so we should find shelter. Tomorrow morning we should walk as soon as the sun comes up though, because it's better to walk when it's not that hot yet."

And finally after the sun was already setting, Itachi spoke up. Unexpected words tumbled off those dry lips, the skin breaking already. No matter what Deidara had done, no matter how badly Itachi was hurt, he would still take care of Deidara. He would still make sure Deidara was safe, because it was all that mattered to Itachi.

 _Cause after all you've never lied_

Deidara's eyes pricked with tears that couldn't come, the lack of hydration preventing them from forming. Wrapping his arms around his torso Deidara started to weep. For all that he had done. For the pain that he had caused. For the mistakes that he had made. All in all he was just a mess. One that would just make things worse, and would not come up with genius plans like these.

 _Oh what a mess_

A day later they were found in the middle of the desert, picked up by a truck with people they didn't know. They had both passed out from lack of water, only a few steps away from each other. But they lived, and that was all that mattered.

 _I've let me down down down down_


	18. Warrior

A song with a powerful message. It sent me back to an era with castles and kingdoms, and all the problems that arise with it. It's about taking a stand...

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: Violence, character death

...

As a child Deidara had grown up in the little village, but living so close to the castle made him able to see many things. See the princes play around, fool around, feel free behind the bars of their kingdom. Safely tucked away behind high walls that would never be penetrated. Deidara saw it all while his village fell with every war the kingdom went under, soldiers murdering out his people as they took their vengeance out on them. The brutality of men was something Deidara witnessed as a young boy, but it made him grow up much faster than others.

After his mother had fallen victim to one of these wars, Deidara started to plan and scheme, figuring out a way to make things right. To make them pay. Revenge was boiling inside his brain, ready to burst out and take everything else with him.

 _Of all the things that you would change but it was just a dream!_

Swords forgotten by soldiers were pulled out of their scabbards, hands who had never wielded something so sharp holding it up. Encouraging pats on the back were there to give everyone the strength they needed to continue. Hearts beat fast as they stepped out of their small hut. One of the buildings that was left standing after the last war that had sent pillages through their streets. With a sure step they got onto the main road, the town's door their aim now. Last night the warning had been given, so they knew they didn't have to look far. This was where they needed to be, for upcoming fight.

 _We are the warriors that built this town._

The clattering of armour could be heard before the soldiers had even rounded the corner, but there they were. Dressed in iron with capes representing their house, a flag among their midst, the small army the kingdom send was here to take revenge. Revenge for the murder one of the villagers had committed.

With a grin Deidara greeted them, the one behind all this. The one who had gathered these men and riled them up to take a stand. With a sword far too big and heavy for him he took a step closer, showing himself as the leader of the bunch. The soldiers didn't say anything, their helmets shying away their features. This was not a negotiation. These men were here simply to put them down and be rid of the problem, but Deidara wasn't going to make it easy on them.

 _Your spirit never dies_

He had no faith in winning, and he knew many of them would perish, their guts cut out with swords so fine they would hardly feel it. But Deidara was convinced it would make a difference. That the kingdom would finally realise it had people living here that needed protection. That needed walls to feel safe. That they were the victim of wars. No tear needed to be shed for his death, as long as he was remembered.

 _Cause this will be the labour of my love_

With a cry Deidara set in the attack, running towards the armoured soldiers as if he stood a chance. The others fell into step with him, joining him in his cry as they held their swords out in front of them. They clashed harshly, swords hitting each other before Deidara could even make an impact. The cries for the fight had evaporated and were now changed into guttural groans and squeaks as some townsmen were cut right as they made it to the attack. Many fell instantly, but Deidara was not there to give up.

Choosing the one that seemed the leader he threw his sword into the battle again and again, trying to get through the armour with every hit. It never left a mark, the steel barely hitting the soldier in the first place. It was as if he was being toyed with, the other jumping out of the way, but never throwing his own sword into the fight to leave his mark on Deidara. There had been many opportunities, Deidara's attack reckless.

 _Here we are, don't turn away now_

"I will kill every one of you," Deidara yelled out frustrated, knowing he was almost the last one left. But no other soldier interrupted the fight between Deidara and their leader. The man in armour only danced around him, blocking every hit of the steel Deidara tried to deliver. But his call must've awakened something, because now the man did start striking back, their swords clashing harder whenever they found each other mid-air.

And then for a split second when Deidara wasn't following the line of the other's sword, he found it sliding right into his stomach, easily slipping through the soft flesh as if it were a pillow.

 _We are the warriors that built this town_

With a cough Deidara fell to the ground. The sword was pulled back, letting the blood flow free as it had more places to go now. Soon it pooled all around him. Lungs filling up as well, Deidara coughed it up, blood slowly dribbling from his lips. His vision was turning hazy already, blue eyes going dull as his life was slipping away. He knew it was inevitable, and he had been ready. But now he wanted to fight it, reject it, because he had not made a difference yet. The soldiers didn't know.

Kneeling beside him the one Deidara had fought took his helmet off, revealing someone Deidara knew, had seen before. The eldest prince who would take over the throne as soon as he had come of age. Tears welling up in his eyes Deidara reached up, the need to feel if it really was the prince pushing him passed his last energy. The one that delivered the mortal wound was sitting here, regret plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry," the prince softly muttered, dark eyes filling with sorrow. His voice sounded so soft, Deidara barely able to still catch on, the life really leaving him now. "I wish it had been different. I've wished it so many times as I saw you through the gates. That young boy with these beautiful eyes I could never quite capture. I wish you could've lived."

Deidara tried to listen, tried to let the words flow through, but he didn't understand. Keeping his eyes focused on the prince's face he tried to ask, tried to communicate. _Why?_

"For love."

 _From Dust_


	19. Battle Cry

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: Violence, character death

...

Row after row of soldiers, were lined up, shields posed in front of their bodies, swords held up in their right hands. Armour covered their entire body, though there were always places that were vulnerable. Places where they needed to move. Places where swords could slip through and kill them with ease. This would be their final stand, the last time they would fend off the enemy. They weren't there, because they wanted to, shaking knees making the armour rattle. Hearts thumped fast inside chests, hidden away by a big breastplate. Archers were in the last line, but they weren't as thrilled for this war to start either. What would protect them once the army had breached through the first line of soldiers?

 _All this time I've been afraid_

Blond hair spilled from under a helmet, carelessly left out, because it didn't matter how recognised him. Beside him the same happened with sleek black hair. The two men stood just a little closer together, their hands reaching out for the other every time a sudden sound swept down the hill. Together they were waiting, waiting for the end. There was no hope left here anymore. They had made their peace with that only a few hours before, making love in a place they surely would be cut. And they were. No one cared anymore, a simple understanding caving everyone's hearts. What was there left to lose? When the cry of monsters passed the hill and slipped down, warning them for the coming army of magic.

 _Stars are only visible in darkness_

As the army came running down the hill, the captain shouted one last encouragement down to his shoulders, but the sound never reached any of them. The cries coming from the monsters were far louder. Readying their swords and shields, they braced for the impact. The first load of arrows came crushing down necks, hitting a few of them in the neck as they rolled down the rest of the hill. It only took out a small portion, the rest still spilling down as a wave of water.

An equal cry moved through them as they started marching as well, because it was time. Time to defend their people, their king. Their newly crowned king who had caused this war in the first place, but as mere soldiers they had nothing to want. The clash was rough and instantly many men fell on each side, falling dead to the ground, so the next could step over their bodies.

 _The only sound_

 _Is the battle cry_

It took a bit longer for the fight to reach both Deidara and Itachi. They patiently waited for the first opponent to crash through. And as the first person broke through, their swords went up and blocked the axe that came down. With ease they fell into a fight, pushing off any attack the other could lay on them. They stayed close to one another, as if they could help this way. As if they could be certain the other would not die. No one would lay a finger on them. Knives were thrown by Itachi, hitting one in the eye and the other in the throat, and Deidara finished them off by sliding his sword right down their abdomen. Organs came spilling out, but they were already moving on.

The next row of beasts came rolling in, soon outnumbering them with many. Soldiers had perished all around them, littering the ground with dead bodies that were trampled by anyone that was still left standing to fight. This army was nowhere fit to protect the castle.

 _Nobody can save me now_

In the fight Itachi and Deidara lost each other somewhere, more enemy soldiers spilling between them and preventing them from getting to each other. They fought as hard as they could, not wanting to die yet. Not wanting to give up yet. It was their future they were fighting for, together. That last time together could not be their last time forever, even if they had said goodbye. Desperation became clearer as they hacked away at the other army, forcing many of the soldiers down on the ground with blood spilling out.

Itachi never saw the big guy coming, it attacking him in the back as it threw off his helmet, leaving his head bare and vulnerable. And Deidara was too far away to help.

 _It's do or die_

Most of their army was now defeated, the few soldiers left standing soon falling victim to the vicious army of magic. Deidara was still fighting his way through the beasts, fear staining his eyes as he saw the big brute stomping towards Itachi. His sword was already knocked out of his hands, his shield smashed to pieces as soon as the hammer had slammed down on it. Deidara cried out for him, told him to run, flee, go somewhere safe. But it was stupid to think it was possible. Itachi looked Deidara's way one last time as the monster let the hammer come crashing down.

Fighting harder Deidara pushed his way through the men that had been fighting him, tried to cut him down. He mortally wounded them as he ran forward, the need to get to Itachi so high now. Maybe if he still got there in time. Just because he was lying on the ground completely still, didn't mean that it was over. It could be solved, he could be saved.

Recklessly Deidara ran on, ignoring the swords around him trying to stop him from moving. It was not hard for them to miss now that Deidara was no longer fighting back. Before he even hit the ground, Deidara was already dead, landing right beside Itachi, their hands falling together as a final goodbye.

 _Nobody can save me now_


	20. Monster

Rating: M-rated

Warnings: Violence, gore, blood

...

Working in their shed, Deidara thought back to a different time. When he was younger and did everything to fit in, be cool, and hang out with the popular people. In a way he still did his best to fit in, never wanting people to think he was odd. It was better to be considered harmless. Pretending was hard though, and Deidara didn't really like it. Being yourself was something he preferred, and he really tried to be himself. Here in the shed he felt most free. Working on his projects and finishing them exactly the way he wanted to. It didn't really matter how hard he tried anyway, he could never be someone else.

 _I was never one for pretenders_

His lover accepted him how he was though, never questioning anything he did. Itachi was always there for him whenever Deidara needed him, though this was a different case. Deidara was afraid this would be too far for Itachi, and Deidara dreaded the day he would find out about Deidara's hobby. Though Deidara did often think of the possible outcomes. Would he be scared? Fascinated? Disgusted? Outraged? Would he walk away and never return again? All these possible emotions made Deidara shiver, because he would be the one causing it.

But Itachi was not that kind of person, emotions often drained from his features. If only everything was as dark as Deidara wanted them to be, as dark as his heart was. He was doing his best to change the world though, with his creations.

 _Everything I touch isn't dark enough_

Stabbing the knife done, Deidara slid it through the smooth surface, readying his canvas the best he could. Gloves protected his hands from getting dirty, but the splatter was always unavoidable. The life of an artist was just this difficult and the work he did… there was always a mess. But this was what made him feel alive, and he wasn't about to cramp it back in and pretend he was someone else. He would let it all out and the world would feel what he had become.

 _I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me._

Something crunched as Deidara pulled something apart, wanting to reach the point he needed to finish his work. It's not like he didn't see that he was different. He knew very well most people were not like him. It was all over the news where people told him he was insane, a criminal, should be locked up. But it was easy for them to say. It's not like he had wished to be this way. It had simply happened and now he could no longer fight it. Ever since his first time he had felt free, and the feeling had settled inside his body. Now he had to continue to ever feel like that again. And his art pieces were still amazing creations.

 _Do I have to run and hide?_

As he reached for the saw, bringing it down on his work, Deidara heard the shed door open. Never had Itachi come check on him before. Usually Itachi was working when Deidara was out here working on his art. They had scheduled it like that, so they were able to spend time together. Now they would find out exactly how Itachi would react to Deidara's ways.

 _Would you turn your back on me?_

Blood spattered all over Deidara's face didn't leave much to guess. Itachi had had a hunch for a long time already, but now it was confirmed. Slowly he stepped into the wooden shed, the smell of decay lingering in the air together with the sharp smell of bleach. He scrunched up his nose as he moved on, keeping a safe distance away from Deidara so long that saw was in his hand.

The body displayed on the table was deformed, as if Deidara had tried to make a human transform in some other kind of object. Details were carved into the skin, laying out a story that only Itachi had ever understood. The police had been looking for the serial killer that had been haunting the city. They had tried everything to find him, but Deidara had been careful not to leave behind hints. Even if he displayed the bodies all over town. Everyone needed to see his art. Everyone needed to witness the beauty he was creating.

 _I've turned into a monster_

Nausea hit Itachi hard and he puked all over the floor a few feet beside Deidara. Still no real reaction was there to all this. No fear, no anger. Disgust a little, but not the way Deidara had thought of it. It was odd and thrilling at the same time, the unexpected coming. Maybe Itachi would not say anything and pretend it was all okay, before calling the cops once he reached the house. Not that Deidara would let him. But Itachi didn't even do that. He just stood there and watched Deidara, not even the body.

It made Deidara decide to continue, averting his gaze and focusing on his project. His saw hacked away at a limb, only to put it back somewhere else. It was nice to work like that, though half his attention was still on Itachi who was slowly walking towards him. Placing a hand on Deidara's hip, Itachi made a quite intimate gesture, which really caught Deidara off guard.

 _And it keeps getting stronger_

"Maybe you can put this in front of the mall. Tomorrow is Saturday, so it will be extra busy. That way you can be sure many will see it, as long as you pose it somewhere where staff doesn't come. Only visitors."

Halting his movements Deidara looked up at Itachi for a moment, slowly a smile spreading on his lips. "Good idea, but I'll need help with that. I'll be ready in an hour."

"I'll get the truck ready for you," Itachi murmured before stepping away, his hand sliding away from Deidara's warm side.

With a knife Deidara made a few extra carvings, creating an intricate pattern right on the woman's breast. "Will you fuck me tonight?" he asked as Itachi was about to leave.

"Why wouldn't I?" Itachi answered, Deidara more important to him than any type of law out there.


	21. Who We Are

This is a weird one and something I have not done before. My final chapter for Smoke and Mirrors and with this one I put an end to the ItaDei week for myself. I hope you've enjoyed my little scenes!

Rating: K-rated

Warnings: Second POV, a little odd, challenge for myself

...

White walls all around greet you as you step in the read the final chapter. You want to know what the season finale is? What kind of story the last song could possibly hold for you, and I as the writer am supposed to end it all. You expected it all, and saw scenes drawn out for you, you never envisioned, but Deidara and Itachi showed them anyway. Playing the parts they were supposed to. Every role taking with ease, emotions thrown around you rather not have seen. Happy endings were not there a lot, and some were painfully wrong.

You see the white walls change in different sceneries, going from grand castles to crumbling down apartments. From large fields to ballrooms. You've seen it all before and have enjoyed them all differently. Maybe not at all. When Deidara sweeps in and takes the stage, you're happy that finally something is going to happen. When the name is dropped you hope there is more to come.

 _We were never welcome here_

Deidara and Itachi were here to play out every scene for you, and are willing to do so many more. It's who they are, what they are made for. What you can create for them. The stories that have been told, the scenes that have unfold. Deidara wishes you will ask more of him and Itachi hopes they will be joined together more often. They hope you will know their love is here not just for them, but for you as well.

 _Doesn't matter if it's not our day_

You see them in rocker's outfits, in suits that are just a little too big, in glittery outfits with roller-skates below. They move through different times as they go back to the cavemen period, before being pulled in a distant future with science we have not even heard of. They become astronauts or survivalists.

 _Coming back for more_

This precious week may be over now, but your ability to give them the love they deserve will never run out. We were here to show that this pairing is still important, and that we can show their love in every way we want to. In their own world and in other worlds. Different ages, different times. Everything is possible. We've seen the love for other pairings, these two characters often paired to someone else. But with all that you've seen, with all that you've felt, you can't deny that this is really it. You can't deny these two are better.

 _In my book of jealousy_

You know you belong to this group. That this is where your heart lies and that you can't ever turn your back on them. No matter how long you've been away from them or if you are new to them, you see it now. Their beauty, their skill, their intelligence. Their ability to adapt to anything you throw at them. Any type of problem they will conquer. Every hardship they will get over, in wait of a moment where you turn their cause into love. And you will. You want to see the love. You want to see them together. Because this is who you are.

 _Doesn't matter if it's not our day_

And maybe you've been told that you are wrong. Maybe people didn't agree with you and laid our arguments you couldn't refuse. Arguments that made you doubt. But what do they know? How are they familiar with what you feel? How can they understand what this is like? Our group belongs to us and we'll share it with anyone who is willing to love them, but we'll shelter them away from the ones that hate. We don't acknowledge hate. You belong here with us, no matter how hard you deny it.

 _They say we're crazy_

 _They say we're crazy_

 _They say we're crazy_

And now this week is over. We say goodbye to the last works, the last stories created, the last happy moments we wanted to see so badly. But you know it's not really over. You know this is not a farewell. You know it will never really end. Next year we'll return with full force, making even more if it's possible. Drawing out the scenes in front of your eyes, painting pictures that make your heart burst with emotions.

It's not just next year though. We don't do this only one week in a whole year. Now that you belong in this group, and you feel attached to Itachi and Deidara, and cannot go without them, you'll be searching for more every day. You'll be craving their love, their behaviour, their scenes, and you will want to see more, never satisfied. And you will turn to the group, asking for more. Instead you will join in and work with us, filling this world with as much love for Itachi and Deidara as we can.

May one never be seen without the other again.

 _It's who we are_


End file.
